Taking a break.

I’ve been writing 500 words a day now for 10 days straight and it feels good, really good to have written so much new material.  Today I started feeling like I was running out of things to write about though. Now I know that after only 10 days of writing, after not writing this much in years, it is impossible to have run out of things to say.  Nonetheless, I decided that I would take a break from writing today, but then I decided to write about taking a break from writing.  So I guess that’s progress, the fact that I still want to write even though I just don’t feel like it. 

I am an all or nothing kind of gal, that’s just the way I’m wired.  It’s always been 100% carpe diem or absolutely sloth level nothingness for me.  I am a woman of extremes.  I’ve never been big on taking breaks because I know this about myself.  I know that if I slow down I will lose momentum and it will be like moving the earth to get myself fired up again.  Break taking is good though, it gives one time to reflect about what’s next, execution of goals, etc.  However, I know that I work best under pressure, in the heat of the moment.  I constantly have this voice in my head screaming, “Breaks are for sissies!”  So I keep pushing, keep running, and keep writing. 

One of the problems with this non break taking attitude is that one can often get burnt out and come to a slow, grinding halt never to be heard from again.  Who takes breaks anyway?  Presidents don’t take breaks, they have countries to run.  Criminals don’t take breaks, they have things to steal. 

Procrastination is another thing though, procrastination I can do.  Procrastination may fool you into thinking that you are taking a break but what you are really doing is wasting a whole lot of energy not being productive, thus not taking a break.  I’m a great procrastinator, and when I procrastinate I do everything but work towards my objectives and spend a lot of time thinking about what I’m not doing.  I hate procrastination; it builds up a sort anxiety inside of me until I almost cannot breathe.  I do it all the time and I do it so well but it is not my favorite activity. 

By writing this little essay I feel like I’m rising above my sloth level and at the same time not procrastinating, and not overdoing things either.  This is a happy medium for me however backwards it may be.  Hopefully tomorrow I will wake up with tons of brilliant ideas for writing projects.  Perhaps I will do something spectacular tomorrow, because today I was just mediocre.  Who knows what the world has in store for me tomorrow?  Maybe I will begin my Pulitzer Prize winning novel or maybe I will write an amazing grocery shopping list, who knows?  We shall see.